Fairfax Community Network is a proud supporter of beyondblue: the national depression initiative, which works to raise awareness of depression and other mental health issues. Today's special blue front page is designed to highlight the work of beyondblue in the lead-up to Mental Health Awareness Week. For help and information, visit the beyondblue website here or call 1300224636.A PSYCHOLOGIST once described Bev Aisbett as the most frightened person she had ever met.
The Newport resident, cartoonist, author and counsellor doesn't seem at all anxious enjoying coffee al fresco in a vibrant Yarraville side street.
But it has been a long road to recovery, as she will tell people when she speaks in Altona next month.
She was at the peak of her career, working for The Sunday Age, Bulletin and others, when she experienced her first bout of crippling anxiety.
"It began really when I started my career as a freelance illustrator and cartoonist; that was in 1991 and it was during the recession we had to have - the other one," she said.
"I went to Sydney for the Stanley Awards; it's a bit like the Logies for cartoonists, so it's a really big deal.
"The night before, for some reason, I just didn't sleep.
"I was really haunted about this and I couldn't name what it was at the time.
"I went to the event, and I realise in retrospect what I was telling myself was, 'Who the hell do you think you are? You'll fail'.
"'You're amongst the cream of the crop and you're nobody. Nobody knows who you are'.
"The next day I went to the annual general meeting of cartoonists at the state library...and whammo, in the middle of this I had my first panic attack. It is overwhelming.
"It feels as though your heart's going to burst through your chest.
"There's this sense of dread - this incredible sense of dread - as if the worst thing in the world is happening and yet you can't name what that is.
"There's a sense of awe and there's a sense of absolute terror.
"To me, it's almost like the ego dissolves. Just a meltdown.
"And I'm sort of clutching the arms of the chair.
"The degree of fear that one feels at the time is, I'd say, the equivalent of if a guy came and held a gun at your head right now."
Ms Aisbett said many 'type A' high achievers were prone to anxiety. "You'll find a lot of high-profile people with this problem.
"There's not much room for error in oneself or in others. Very high expectations. A lot of rules. They tend to push themselves very hard and are very unforgiving of themselves."
Ms Aisbett found help in personifying her fears and anxiety into a character called 'It'. Her latest book, Get over It, encourages people to take ownership of their lives.
"My quest, in the long term, is to stop this infantilising of people.
"We do choose to see ourselves as victims of circumstances rather than really owning where we're at.
"Full recovery can only come when you say, 'Well, my life is the result of the choices I've made', and can make some better choices, including what one tells oneself."
Bev Aisbett will speak about anxiety and depression at a forum in Altona on October 14 from 12.30-2.30pm. Hosted by the Anxiety Disorders Association of Victoria, it will be held at the Louis Joel Arts and Community Centre in Sargood Street. Also speaking is Footscray-based trauma psychologist Shawn Goldberg. Cost: $10 for ADAVIC members and $20 for non-members.
Bookings essential: 98538089 or adavic@adavic.org.au
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